Post by KEG on Mar 25, 2013 18:03:14 GMT -5
The camera opens to show PINT, KEG, CAPTAIN MORGAN and JACK DANIELS walk into the PW offices while holding a paper contract. Both men are wearing t-shirts that have pictures of shot glasses covering them. Their t-shirts on the back read: ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR! Both men step into the office and speak to Reed
PINT: Well KEG, we made it! We made it to the big time, the PW! After years of wrestling in Japan and in those shitty feds like GZW, I sure am glad to be here.
KEG nods and speaks
KEG: Tell me about it. I remember facing that loser Ricky Rock once..and thank god he tapped out faster than Rick Man's mom on crack.
Both men laugh when suddenly REED Reed walks into the office, holding the Disorderly Conduct Title in one hand and the designs for the PW Tag Titles in another.
REED: Ah, it's about time you boys got here. I sent word to Japan four weeks ago, what took you so long to get here?
REED glares at both men as PINT reaches inside his duffel bag and pulls out a bottle of gin and takes a swig. PINT then hands it to KEG who also takes a long draw from the pullstring.
PINT: Well, we stopped in a little bar just outside of Okinawa, and we ended up passed out for two days. Then we hopped on a plane to America, and we stopped in Dallas to drink a few at a pub there. We passed out for a few days there, and then we hopped on a bus here. Once we got here we stopped at the bar across the street and we drank until this morning. But don't worry sir, we're ready to work....
PINT suddenly turns around and vomits all over the floor. KEG begins to laugh when he suddenly pukes all over Reed's new suit. REED's eyes grow large and then he begins to turn a dark crimson color and begins to shake with anger.
REED: You sons of bitches! This is a new damn suit! It cost me $2500 bucks and you just ruined it! You can't come in here and treat me like this. I am the owner of the PW, and since you two like getting drunk, then why don't you try this on for size.
REED rummages through some papers on his desk and then grabs a pen. He hastily writes down a few notes on the paper and then shoves it in the face of KEG. KEG wipes his blurry eyes and attempts to read the paper.
KEG: Uh...REED has signed a match for New Age Alcoholics against Jigsaw and Rick Man at excrement.. explanation.. escalator...man that's a big word.
REED sighs and says the word for him.
REED: The damn word is Escalation you stupid moron! Escalation of Force, dumbasses!
PINT slaps the back of KEG's head as KEG hands the paper to PINT. PINT then finishes reading the paper
PINT: The match will be a tag team match, with no No Dis..disco..shit Reed, why don't you write smaller words man!
REED reaches over and snatches the paper from PINT and reads it.
REED: The word is disqualification!! Jesus, where the hell are you guys from??
Both men shrug as REED sighs loudly and then tosses the note in the trash.
REED: Tell you what, you two will face Rick Man and Jigsaw at EoF. Now do you think you can be on time for the match?
KEG and PINT both nod and then PINT grins stupidly.
PINT: Hey REED, can we sleep in here tonight? We didn't get a hotel room since we spent all our money on beer.
REED shakes his head.
REED: Hell no! You can sleep on the benches outside of the PW offices, but there's no way in hell you're sleeping in my office! NOW GET OUT!!!
Both men walk out and lie down on the adjoining benches. PINT then speaks to KEG
PINT: Man that Reed is a jerk. All we wanted was to lie in there on his nice comfy sofa.
KEG nods slightly and then yawns
KEG: Oh well, it beats sleeping on the pool table at the bar again. My back is still killing me from sleeping on top of the 8-ball. Now shut up and let's get some sleep. In the morning we've got to try to see if Reed will loan us a few bucks for a sausage biscuit and some beer.
The camera fades to black as both men fall asleep, snoring loudly as REED is seen shaking his head in his office
PINT: Well KEG, we made it! We made it to the big time, the PW! After years of wrestling in Japan and in those shitty feds like GZW, I sure am glad to be here.
KEG nods and speaks
KEG: Tell me about it. I remember facing that loser Ricky Rock once..and thank god he tapped out faster than Rick Man's mom on crack.
Both men laugh when suddenly REED Reed walks into the office, holding the Disorderly Conduct Title in one hand and the designs for the PW Tag Titles in another.
REED: Ah, it's about time you boys got here. I sent word to Japan four weeks ago, what took you so long to get here?
REED glares at both men as PINT reaches inside his duffel bag and pulls out a bottle of gin and takes a swig. PINT then hands it to KEG who also takes a long draw from the pullstring.
PINT: Well, we stopped in a little bar just outside of Okinawa, and we ended up passed out for two days. Then we hopped on a plane to America, and we stopped in Dallas to drink a few at a pub there. We passed out for a few days there, and then we hopped on a bus here. Once we got here we stopped at the bar across the street and we drank until this morning. But don't worry sir, we're ready to work....
PINT suddenly turns around and vomits all over the floor. KEG begins to laugh when he suddenly pukes all over Reed's new suit. REED's eyes grow large and then he begins to turn a dark crimson color and begins to shake with anger.
REED: You sons of bitches! This is a new damn suit! It cost me $2500 bucks and you just ruined it! You can't come in here and treat me like this. I am the owner of the PW, and since you two like getting drunk, then why don't you try this on for size.
REED rummages through some papers on his desk and then grabs a pen. He hastily writes down a few notes on the paper and then shoves it in the face of KEG. KEG wipes his blurry eyes and attempts to read the paper.
KEG: Uh...REED has signed a match for New Age Alcoholics against Jigsaw and Rick Man at excrement.. explanation.. escalator...man that's a big word.
REED sighs and says the word for him.
REED: The damn word is Escalation you stupid moron! Escalation of Force, dumbasses!
PINT slaps the back of KEG's head as KEG hands the paper to PINT. PINT then finishes reading the paper
PINT: The match will be a tag team match, with no No Dis..disco..shit Reed, why don't you write smaller words man!
REED reaches over and snatches the paper from PINT and reads it.
REED: The word is disqualification!! Jesus, where the hell are you guys from??
Both men shrug as REED sighs loudly and then tosses the note in the trash.
REED: Tell you what, you two will face Rick Man and Jigsaw at EoF. Now do you think you can be on time for the match?
KEG and PINT both nod and then PINT grins stupidly.
PINT: Hey REED, can we sleep in here tonight? We didn't get a hotel room since we spent all our money on beer.
REED shakes his head.
REED: Hell no! You can sleep on the benches outside of the PW offices, but there's no way in hell you're sleeping in my office! NOW GET OUT!!!
Both men walk out and lie down on the adjoining benches. PINT then speaks to KEG
PINT: Man that Reed is a jerk. All we wanted was to lie in there on his nice comfy sofa.
KEG nods slightly and then yawns
KEG: Oh well, it beats sleeping on the pool table at the bar again. My back is still killing me from sleeping on top of the 8-ball. Now shut up and let's get some sleep. In the morning we've got to try to see if Reed will loan us a few bucks for a sausage biscuit and some beer.
The camera fades to black as both men fall asleep, snoring loudly as REED is seen shaking his head in his office
